Kasatkina gets real about "dark and hardcore period"

“I cried a lot because my room had pistachio green wallpaper of my dreams. I remember when we were about to leave…I leaned on my pistachio wall and said goodbye to the house.”

Every successful athlete has their unique story to tell and Daria Kasatkina’s journey to success is just as interesting. In one of the most honest and revealing interviews given by an elite player, the Russian opened up about her private life as she gave us a tour of her humble beginnings in her hometown of Tolyatti, Russia—a city racked by poverty, gangs and drugs.

When she was about 12 years old, her parents made a very difficult decision to sell their house to fund her training.

“That was hard,” she confesses. “We had a house, built by my parents. They had to sell it.”

After a series of painful losses including three consecutive opening-round exits, Kasatkina contemplated retiring from the sport following a 2019 St. Petersburg loss to compatriot and wildcard Vera Zvonareva, who had recently returned to the tour after giving birth in 2016. Zvonareva was ranked No. 97 at the time.

She had a discussion with her coach, Philippe Daheas, who basically told her that if she wasn’t enjoying playing tennis anymore, she should consider another profession.

“I can’t do sh*t for a living, except tennis,” she decided. “I had to re-think quitting. It was a pretty dark and hardcore period.”

She even resorted to self-harm during that dark period. It happened in Dubai, a few weeks following her loss to Zvonareva.

“I had never beaten myself on court before,” she says. “Slapping my face and hitting my legs with a racquet. Gladly I didn’t break anything.

“I’d come to my hotel room and sit in the shower for a while. I mean just sitting there for 1-2 hours. Didn’t want to talk to anyone...I just wanted to hurt myself for a reason—to punish myself.”

The reason why she felt the need to punish herself?

“Maybe for being weak,” she suggests. “And not being able to overcome it.”

It's a good thing the 23-year-old decided not to quit. Two years later, she became the first player to win two titles in 2021 when she captured the St. Petersburg Ladies Trophy in March, less than a month after emerging victorious from the Phillip Island Trophy in Melbourne.