Fish underwent a cardiac ablation to treat palpitations only to find the symptoms had not abated by the 2012 US Open, where he was set to play Roger Federer in the fourth round. With the encouragement of wife Stacey Gardner and aid of longtime physio Christian LoCascio, he made the agonizing decision not to take the court.
“Maybe it took that woman’s touch, or perhaps just the touch of someone who didn’t know that mental fortress that was ingrained in us players since we were little,” Fish mused. “I learned it’s ok to be vulnerable, to show weakness, and show fear. It’s ok to not play, and I didn’t know that. That would never have crossed my mind, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that, after everything that I’d sacrificed in the past years, and just in terms of being a professional tennis player—because I turned pro in my senior year of high school, so there’s a lot I didn’t get to experience—there were sacrifices, no doubt about it.
“This was the match that I was dreaming about playing, against Roger Federer on Ashe, on Labor Day. It was as good as it gets at the US Open, and to think I was going to drive to the courts only to pull out of the match was unfathomable.”
After officially retiring from tennis in 2015—but not before making a full-circle farewell in doubles with Roddick—Fish became the United States Davis Cup captain as a means of mentoring the next generation of American men, and is an avid advocate for mental health awareness. In the six years since first telling his story, the conversation has exponentially evolved thanks to the honesty of fellow athletes like Naomi Osaka, Simone Biles, and Michael Phelps.
“You’re able to name some big-time players who’ve opened up to say that mental health is an issue for them. We all know tens of millions of people in the United States deal with mental health every day, so we know it’s there and it’s prevalent, but to have someone of their caliber able to talk about it is huge.”
“Breaking Point” complements Fish’s compelling story with insight from his family, Roddick, and an archive of home movie footage covering the course of his career dating back to some of his earliest days on court. Most importantly, it was an opportunity for Fish to give a definitive telling of his story and provide a much-needed sense of closure.
“Any player who comes on saying they have no regrets is lying to themselves. Of course, you have regrets and things you’d do differently. It’s not to say you did anything wrong but you’re always thinking how you would have done this or that differently if you’d known better.”
“Breaking Point” is now available for streaming on Netflix.