Alternate titles for Li Na's forthcoming memoir

It's been reported that the mercurial Li Na, reigning French Open women's champion, will write a memoir. Interestingly, publishing powerhouse Penguin is co-lead on the book with a Chinese house. A Penguin rep said, "Li has a very straight-talking, unusual personality and is more outgoing than most Chinese athletes, and we think this could translate around the world."

About translations: The book will be released in Chinese in the spring ahead of the 2012 Roland Garros tournament, with more editions to follow. One snafu in the above-linked article: It says, "In June, she made history by becoming the first Asian player to win a Grand Slam title at the French Open at Roland Garros in Paris." On behalf of Ai Sugiyama, the Spin objects to that remark.

Li's book is tentatively titled How to Go West and Win. "Tentative" in the publishing world typically means a change will surely come, and so here are a few more options for titling her tome:

- Go West, Young Woman. A veiled reference to Li's little-known favorite band, and reason for her makeshift moniker since the French Open: the Queen of Wishful Thinking.

- Tuesdays With Snore-y. Enough said:

- Forget a Dog: I Walk My Husband on a Harness. Her publisher says Li's writing will focus on "harnessing personal passions to win against the odds." We know from scads of her interviews that "personal passion" is a synonym for "husband."

- Straight Talk from One Who Can't Always Shoot Straight. Li won in Sydney and then reached the Australian Open final in January. Then she lost four first-rounders in a row. She went on to clinch a Slam victory on her second chance in Paris, but she's gone 6-7 since that run.

- About That One Quote: Chinese Say the Darnedest Things.Li disclosed this to reporters in Beijing after the U.S. Open: “All the active women tennis players have the same situation of ups and downs in the competitions, almost everyone. Because women cannot have the same mentality of men, who expect to win every competition. We are very easy to be satisfied after winning a championship and we like to leave some time for self-adjustment." Not exactly feminist rhetoric, and odd coming from one considered a tattooed rock star at home who ducked her own government's sporting system.

And so we tennis litheads lie in wait: Do we have the Chinese version of Andre Agassi's Open on our hands, or is more along the measured, agreeable lines of Rafa? Time will tell.

—Jonathan Scott (@jonscott9)