by Pete Bodo
You couldn't really call him a streaker, and not just because the gawky apparition was wearing black knickers and red-and-white Switzerland stockings, and using the Barcelona football club flag for a cape. And you couldn't dismiss him as a mere clown, looking for attention he could never get any other way. The truth was that this stork-like, balding, whatever-it-was projected something menacing and blink-your-eyes unreal, something ugly in a way that somehow seemed lewd.
After loping onto the court (the crowd watched in rustling disbelief) the court invader (allegedly, someone who calls himself Jimmy Jump) stood there just a few feet from Roger Federer, taunting, shaking that blood-red flag, in a way that might have been described as childish, were it somewhat sinister and other-worldly, and were he not standing at point-blank range from the stunned and perhaps frightened player who was in the process of rewriting the tennis history books.
What might it have been like for Federer at that moment, when a millisecond earlier he had been floating happily in that shimmering, elastic soap bubble of his perfection - leading Robin Soderling, 6-2, 2-1, 15-0, in the final of the French Open that ultimately would earn him a career Grand Slam, tie him with Pete Sampras for the most Grand Slam singles titles in history (14), and vault him, in most eyes, beyond all his Open-era rivals for the title, Greatest Of All-Time.
What might it have been like to have that maniac prancing before him, like something out of a nightmare, a grotesque spook coming back from a terrifying dream Federer once had about Rafael Nadal, and what that dark young Spanish nemesis had done to interrupt the arc of his career at Roland Garros.
And then to have that lurid intrusion into his consciousness - the same well from which Federer had until then been drawing up beauty in buckets, one glowing and elegant shot after another - yank a strange red cap from its head, and try to place it on Federer's, it might have been terrifying in the same way as glancing at your forearm to find an enormous, multi-colored poisonous insect resting there.