Our chief subject, and suspected ringleader of a tennis cult, goes by the name of Armand Dillotante (See Exhibit A: The subject). He is approximately eighteen inches in stature, eight inches wide, and weighs roughly seven kilograms.
Identifying characteristics include small, beady black eyes and nine distictive bands upon his heavily armoured, camouflaged body. His overall appearance is covert; he is able, without warning, to disappear.
Dillotante is secretive about his place of birth — our informants claim he is an illegal alien and all official paperwork found, thus far, lists his birthplace as 'Unknown'. However, when questioned, Dillotante repeatedly stated that he is a native-born American armadillo. Extensive research appears to confirm this; it suggests that Dillotante is a mammal of the Order Xenarthra, Family Dasypodidae, known as Dasypus novemcinctus (Linneus), known collectively as a 'Nine-Banded Texas Armadillo'.
Unfortunately, since few armadillos are able to register the birth of their children, they are unable to easily prove their U.S. citizenship. This does not simply mean that Dillotante cannot vote — as he lacks the paperwork necessary to get a passport, Dillotante is unable to legally exit and re-enter the country. It is worth noting that this has not stopped his movements; We have received numerous, as-yet-unconfirmed reports of Dillotante being sighted at The Rogers Cup, held each summer in Toronto, Canada.
Dillotante is currently employed as a visiting professor of Media Studies at a small, exclusive private college in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He attempts to fit in with the faculty, although he refuses to explain how he ended up at this college -- Dillotante denies the fact that he made his first appearance in a shipping box, addressed to one of the members of the faculty.
