The holidays are upon us—time for gifts, thanks, and far too many sweets. Without further ado, I offer my 12 wishes for the 2008 tennis season:
1. Roger Federer wins the French Open – and no other majors. This might be Federer’s last chance to win all four majors in a year (he’s not getting any younger) and you have to think the odds of him winning in Paris will get longer – possibly a lot longer – after this season. Either way, he’s going to break Pete Sampras’ record of 14 major titles. If he wins the French next year, he’ll have Greatest of All Time title all but sowed up. And if he wins the French and nothing else, we’ll have some new champions to talk about.
Alternate wish, just to spice things up: Federer wins three majors but again loses the French Open final – this time to Andy Roddick. Now that’s a story.
2. Rafael Nadal wins Wimbledon. The three-time French Open champ came oh so close to defeating Federer last year – perhaps by an inch, really, if you consider by how little he missed a forehand winner on break point in the fifth set. As Novak Djokovic and other big hitters improve, Nadal might have more trouble at the All England Club. If he wins it, he’s the stuff of legend (he might get there anyway).
Alternate wish: Ivo Karlovic and John Isner square off in the final. After four tiebreakers, the match goes to a decisive, no-tiebreaker fifth set. The hours pass. The aces fly. The linespeople ice bruises. At 9:30 p.m., Wimbledon officials suspend the match because of darkness—first time for everything—at 56-55 Karlovic. Each man has more than 200 aces. The lawn has divots the size of bowling balls. To be continued Monday afternoon…
3. Lindsay Davenport wins her fourth major title and immediately retires. I’d prefer the Australian Open. Just can’t bear to watch another season of near misses.
4. The Williams sisters win all four major titles – in doubles. What better boost for the much-maligned women’s doubles tour? Alternate wish: After winning three major titles in doubles, the sisters can’t play together at the U.S. Open (Venus has to direct a movie and doesn’t have time). Serena shocks everyone by asking Maria Sharapova to fill in. They shriek their way to the title and our later seen celebrating together at a Manhattan nightclub.
5. Roger Federer hires Rod Laver as a coach. The 69-year-old Laver is one of the few men to accomplish something that Federer hasn’t, so why not? At every Grand Slam, Laver sits on the sidelines and yells from the stands, “Just give the ball a nudge, Roger, just give it a nudge!” He’s voted coach of the year.
6. A baseball cap ban. Yes, that’s right I’m looking for the WTA and ATP to ban baseball caps unless players need to shield their eyes from the sun or keep the heat off their heads. Tennis players, in the main, are a stylish and unique bunch. Why hide it under a bland cap? Anyone notice how much more interesting Djokovic is without one (he lost it late in the season)? At least we can start with a ban on backwards caps. Yes, that means you, Richard Gasquet.
7. Justine Henin and Venus Williams meet in the Wimbledon final. Nothing more to say on this one.
8. Santa Claus brings Andy Roddick some shirts that fit. Stop tugging!
9. Marcos Baghdatis gets in shape – physically and mentally. The Cypriot might be the most entertaining player in the world if he could win more than a round or two. Australia 2006 seems so very far away.
10. Marat Safin retires. Enough already.
11. No challenges on the final point of a match. I’m a fan of Hawkeye, and obviously we can’t bar players from challenging final points. I’m just hoping it won’t happen, especially any of those pointless, out-by-10-feet-but-what-the-hell-why-not challenges that deprive the game-ending handshake of all energy and meaning.
12. Argentina wins the Davis Cup. Amazing that it’s never happened (they have competed since 1921 and lord knows they have talent). The United States returned to glory this year; it’s time for the Argentines, the Cup’s great underachievers, to get the job done.
Happy holidays, and see you next season.