This week, for the duration of the Madrid Masters tournament, I'll be joined by a very special guest, Juan José Vallejo (you may know him as J.J. from Pete's Tennis World). He's watching the event with the aid of some outstanding coverage on ESPN in Argentina, and will give us his expert opinion on everything from ballgirl outfits to Van Morrison records.
Hey Steve,
I think the publicist of the Madrid tournament will never be unemployed. Really, the way they tricked everyone (OK, maybe just me) with this ballmodel stunt is just flawless. From all the reports prior to the tournament, I was led to believe that very hot women were going to take the place of the usual kids for the whole duration of the event. And since it's not a huge tourney, it seemed possible, no? I supposed at least the Pista Central would always be ballboyed by these gorgeous Spanish women. I then supposed that since they went into so much trouble hiring (and training) these ballmodels, they would go the whole nine yards with unconventionality and rethink the ballboy traditional attire, much like Rome did with their whole Borg homage theme.
I was tricked.
So far, it seems that said ballmodels will only work one morning session match, plus the first night session match. If that wasn't enough of a letdown, just look at the outfits: unflattering is putting it nicely. Why so ballboyish? What's with the caps? What's the point of hiring these women if you're going to cover them up? Couldn't they just hire the first 30 Rafanatics that show up to work the games? (that would've been much, much cheaper) No one would have noticed it. I mean, it's hard to make out that these are, in fact, beautiful women out there, if it weren't for the obviously awkward way they go about their new temporary job.
So far, Rome has clearly outdone Madrid in this category. It's not even close.
Now, talking about the actual sport being played, I'd say the biggest story so far has been the not-so-surprising demise of much of the Spanish Armada. They're dropping like flies. I mean, it's not that they expected Gorka Fraile (who dyed his hair to match his yellow shirt) to make it to the second round, but they sure expected more from Elder Moya, as well as Ferrer and López. I'd even say that Robredo was very lucky to escape from "the Skinny" Chela, who was up a break in both sets (he even had set points in the first one), yet got broken and lost the tiebreak both times. Before you ask, yes, Chela choked.
I would say that the 1-6 Spanish record so far is a testament to the speed of the courts, as well as the super-loaded draw. Juan Carlos Ferrero is in danger of becoming the seventh casualty today, as he faces a kind-of-yellow-hot (red-hot would be too much just yet) Robin Soderling, who did very well on a similar surface on his home tournament last week. And local hero Nadal shouldn't expect an easy match against Mardy Fish, either.
You asked me about the coverage for this tournament down here in Argentina, and this was my reply:
"Down here in ESPN has great coverage of the tourney, on both its signals (ESPN and ESPN +). For example, today they showed Monfils-Hrbaty and Chela-Robredo on the main signal, and then the little brother picked up the slack with Ferrer-Henman, followed by Federer-Massú and Safin-Acasuso. Even though it's hard to believe for you guys in the U.S, this is really ESPN I'm talking about."
Three things to add: 1) All of this coverage was carried live 2) The commentary is quite exceptional, especially on ESPN +. 3) To explain: ESPN + is a Cono Sur Channel (meaning, it's only available in Argentina, Brazil, Uruguay, Paraguay and Chile), while the rest of the continent has ESPN2, which is a somewhat mexicanized version of the American signal.
About the commentary: the main signal uses Luis Alfredo Álvarez, a very cheerful Venezuelan who also does baseball, and Javier Frana, the former Argentine tennis player. Their dynamic is not that original: the somewhat naive, less specialized journalist (Álvarez) carries the broadcast and asks Frana some simple yet poignant questions about what's happening in the match, so he can give his "expert" analysis. Frana answers in a very simple, didactic way, obviously designed to avoid alienating the much-adored Casual Sports Fan (deserves the caps, since it's apparently this abstract figure what determines our sports coverage). The thing is, they don't dumb-down the broadcasts, they avoid at all costs talking when a point is being played, and more importantly, they work really well as a couple. You feel you're in good hands with them. Plus, they crack good jokes, which is a huge plus in the business.
Now, the commentary on ESPN+ is just a delight: they hired veteran tennis journalist Juan Szafrán, and he's joined the majority of times by top coach Tony Pena. Now, these guys really don't care about the Casual Sports Fan: they're tennis nuts, and they will discuss the match in question without any trace of condescends towards anyone. You feel that their approach is to point out things to imaginary juniors who would gain something concrete by watching these matches. They will discuss tactics and technical details thoroughly, and they'll color all of this with fantastic Argie expressions that I would fail miserably to convey here.
Yes, this is ESPN I'm talking about, the same network whose secret plan is to have the entire United States population play Poker, darts, and other assorted games (maybe the Monopoly World Series is due in 2014, no?) until Judgment Day.
About yesterday's tennis, lets go through some highlights:
- Monfils' injury: He was in complete control of his match against Hrbaty, and hurt himself when he made a futile and pointless attempt to reach a well-hit smash that was heading clearly towards the stands. Quite absurd sequence, yet somewhat eponymous of his season, wouldn't you think?
- The Fed's appearance: Massú played a tough match, fought like crazy, and all he had to show for his troubles was a 3 and 2 result. Maybe a more telling fact would to be point out that the match took something like an hour and a half to finish, which is quite atypical for such an apparent lopsided victory. The Fed looked comfortable, although the timing on his forehand was somewhat off during stretches. All in all, he gave us two fantastic Oy! (copyright: Steve Tignor) moments, both when he broke Massú for the first time in the seventh game of the first set: the first was a sick cross-court backhand slice lob that landed safely in a corner before Massú could do anything about it (Pena's commentary: "In all these years of following the sport, I've rarely, if ever, watched someone hit an aggressive slice lob. Remarkable"), and the other one was a crazy backhand passing shot down the line he hit at break point. Now, the amazing thing is that Massu had played a very good shot that landed just inside the line. However, the Fed remained unfazed and proceeded to kind of block the shot, letting the ball ricochet off his racket with the pace that Massú had put on it in the first place. I think it's safe to say Massú spent a few hours lying on his bed looking at the ceiling trying to understand how the Fed pulled that shot off.
- The Acasuso-Safin Fight to the Death Davis Cup Preview: It seems Daniel Orsanic (Acasuso's coach) convinced Chucho that HE was Safin, not that big dude across the net. These guys showed no quarter whatsoever (as well as no precaution, no patience and other assorted elements lacking from Marat's "Plan B? what's a Plan B?" game) during their three-setter. These guys knew that Madrid offered them a chance to preview a very likely Davis Cup-clinching fifth rubber between them in a month and a half, and they took full advantage of it. Acasuso showed he can serve the lights out on this surface, and should get credit for regrouping in the second set after losing a tight first one. Like Szafrán said, if this is a preview of what's going to happen in Moscow, we're in for a real treat.
Now, what's up for Wednesday? Two matches clearly stand out: finally the planets aligned themselves in a way that lets Djokovic-Gasquet I happen. Should be a very entertaining match featuring the sport's future stars. I'm a huge VertiDjoko fan, and for some reason I couldn't bring myself to comment on your entry on him the other day. However, I'd say that you picked the wrong days to watch the (for now, at least) Serb play. I'm still clueless about what happened against Hewitt at the U.S Open. At any rate, no one other than the local public will be able to witness such an important historical landmark: they put the match on the Pista Alcalá, which until now we've only heard of (it may or may not exist). How about getting a camera up there and at least show us what the place looks like?
Safin-Baghdatis is the other big ticket, I would think. Still, I think Marat is running on fumes, not just because of the tension-filled match today, but also because he played the final in Moscow just the other day. The Bagman is also struggling to find form, after missing out on a couple tourneys because of that bum shoulder. Should the guys overcome the physical issues, the Pista Central is due for a great match.
I'll leave Nadal's debut to you. Some pressure on the kid, no?
Finally, I have to say that this email has been written with the help of Van Morrison's "Astral Weeks" and Aretha Franklin's "I Never Loved a Man the Way that I Loved You". Don't you think Van Morrison sounds like Angie-Mick Jagger, if only you could make Mick smoke 200 cigarettes, drink a couple of bottles of scotch and be completely unconcerned about making a hit single?
Juan José
PS: A sure sign of the Apocalypse would be if Jarkko Nieminen formed a neo-punk band and played in that Vegas club. If this happens, look for shelter.