Navratilova talks 'Dancing' with Howard Stern, then gets the boot

Martina Navratilova's "Dancing with the Stars" stint was just as short-lived as that of fellow multi-Slam winner Monica Seles. Which is to say she was booted on the program's first elimination episode. You'll see why when you regard her jive here:

Well, they can say they tried, she and partner Tony Dovolani. Navratilova's pants had flair, perfect for a jive, but the webby top piece that she wore over a red brassiere did her no favors. Gamely, the pair schmoozed with the judges in the midst of performing. It wasn't enough. Navratilova netted a score of 17 out of 30 for this dance, placing her dead last among second-week contestants, who include the pop singer Gavin DeGraw, former "Little House on the Prairie" star Melissa Gilbert, former Steve Urkel actor Jaleel White, and "The View" co-host Sherri Shepherd, who a few years ago openly asked on her primary show whether the earth is indeed flat. Friends, we live in desperate times.

Navratilova sat in on the phone with Howard Stern after her first-week performance. The conversation clip here, all of a minute long, is quite revealing:

Dovolani was reportedly "destroyed" by Navratilova's early ouster from "Dancing." There's actually love lost between the two, though: One thing that Martina revealed to Stern was that she had quite the attraction to her all-too-brief foxtrot/jive partner.

The End. And too bad, as the Spin really thought Navratilova stood a nimble chance of improving on tennis stars' dancing-show histories. Not so.

In on-court news, the day has come: Caroline Wozniacki defeated Serena Williams. It's her first victory over the Serena-Venus-Clijsters triumvirate that represents 24 Grand Slam singles titles. Now, time for some she said/she said action:

Williams: "Everyone I play always plays the match of the year."  

Wozniacki: "I made her run."  

And the world spins madly on.  

—Jonathan Scott (Find me on Twitter @jonscott9.)