After breaking her silence, Pam Shriver wants meaningful change to follow: “There needs to be better safeguarding—what’s happening now isn’t good enough”

Pam Shriver was calling a match during Indian Wells last October when something caught her eye—and made her heart sink.

The former world No. 1 in doubles had been researching players that were set to take the court, when she realized that one of them was involved in a romantic relationship with her coach. Their significant age difference and fraught dynamic caused alarm bells to go off for Shriver, as an all-too-familiar pattern seemed to be playing out once again.

“That was a real aha moment to me,” Shriver told TENNIS.com. “The age where that coach started to coach this player was the same age when I started to take regular lessons.

“I kind of did some reflecting and realized, ‘Wow, so this still happens way too much.’”

In a revealing and emotional interview with Catherine Whitaker on The Tennis Podcast and penned in Telegraph Sport, Shriver opened up for the first time about her own experience as a young tennis player whose relationship with her longtime coach Don Candy had taken a dark turn.

Shriver recalled being nine years old when her mom gifted her a tennis lesson with Candy at their local club in Baltimore—he was 33 years her senior and married—and as a pre-teen, developing strong feelings for the Australian former pro. When she began to compete in her first pro tournaments at the age of 15, Candy became her primary coach and chaperone.

Reaching the US Open singles final as a 16-year-old amateur was a life-changing and career-redefining achievement, and Shriver and Candy navigated her rapid rise together. But in a vulnerable moment during her tough sophomore season, Shriver confessed her feelings for him. Rather than letting her down gently, he instead initiated a tumultuous romantic relationship with the 17-year-old—one that later became sexual in nature and lasted until Shriver eventually hired a new coach when she was 24.

Shriver sat down with TENNIS.com to discuss why she broke her silence—and what the tennis tours can do to help players in similar situations, hold abusers accountable and create a safer sport for young athletes.

It's not like I'm the first to come forward, but I’m probably a pretty high profile one that's come forward with real details of how it started... and how it hurt my performance, how it hurt my life and my ability to form healthy relationships. So I just want to help young people that need to know, it's okay to reach out for help. Pam Shriver, to TENNIS.com

TENNIS.com: Thank you for your courage in coming forward and for sharing your story with us. What motivated you to open up about this, and why now?
SHRIVER: It was a combination of having time to really look at patterns in my life and do some reflection and, for the first time ever, I talked to a therapist about the relationship with my coach and how it went seriously off track. He helped me realize other patterns in my life that came from it.

And then, honestly, I was calling a match at Indian Wells in October where I was doing some research about the players, whose coach was also in a relationship with her. She’s pretty young and he's a fair bit older—I mean, shoot, nowhere near 33 years—but that was a real aha moment to me. The age where that coach started to coach this player was the same age when I started to take regular lessons. I kind of did some reflecting and realized, ‘Wow, so this still happens way too much.’

That’s not to say that some of these relationships don’t still end up in a healthy place, but there's a lot to unpack when the boundaries change. And I don't know whether a lot of young tennis players are equipped to know how to handle when those lines are blurred.

TENNIS.com: In your interview with The Tennis Podcast, you suggested that an expert panel should be assembled to address this issue similar to the one created for the WTA’s Age Eligibility Rule. What would that panel look like?
SHRIVER: I keep using the age eligibility panel because that’s the best example. And I know there's been criticism in some parts of that, but look at what happened prior and then look at what's happened since. I think it's a proven success story.

I actually think this panel could be even more impactful with standards, credentialing, training and education—getting experts together who know this, from safeguarding, to adolescent development, human development and coaching development.

And the WTA should never feel like they're alone in this. The ITF needs to climb on board too, as well as the individual federations… I think the grown-ups in the room, the people who run tennis, need to come up with much more strict standards and rules—not just around tennis coaches, but anybody on the team. Obviously, this doesn't just happen on the women's tour, it doesn't just happen with coaches.

TENNIS.com: It would really have to be a ‘tennis united’ sort of effort then, because so many of these abusive relationships also seem to begin when players are quite young.
SHRIVER: Yeah, that's right. That's for sure. By the time these players have already hit the pro tour, in many instances, the relationship may have already been started.

And listen, I didn't know. I wasn't even able to pinpoint exactly what it was. It was only years later that I'm like, ‘Okay, those were feelings.’ I was in early puberty, I was starting to have hormones, I was starting to feel big feelings for him. And that was a couple of years before I played my first tournament at 15 and a half.

TENNIS.com: One part of your story that really struck me was that you never felt able to tell your mom about everything that was going on. Can you talk about why, and as a mom yourself, what advice do you have for parents in keeping kids safe in sports?
SHRIVER: It's a really tough thing to have to unpack with your parents, who many times send their young player off thinking that they're being chaperoned correctly. My dad died in 2006 and I had actually shared this with him, but I'd never told my mom [who passed away in August last year].

For parents, I think: don't assume anything. Ask a lot of questions and really do some research about a coach, see what their record is. There's ways to do a lot of research now that wasn't available back in the day. But just, don't assume it's not possible.

I coached my kids’ middle school, and I went through that safeguard training. You have to keep your eyes wide open and don’t assume anything about any adult who's involved with your child, especially if it involves travel or a lot more times of the day than normal school hours.

TENNIS.com: For a pro player who currently finds themselves in a similar situation, what resources are available? I know for example, the WTA has built a pretty robust player health and mental wellness team with physios who are trained to recognize signs of abuse and address the issue with players.
SHRIVER: I would hope that players feel there are a multitude of places they could go to report, not just the WTA. They could report to their federation, they could report to the ITF, they could report to older players or players on the council.

I think the tour now has a much more professional health service department than I would have ever known in my 19 years of playing. When I left the tour in the mid-'90s, it was just starting to really become a multi-layered health and wellness program. And if I understand correctly, a lot is already in the pipeline with new policies ready to go in early 2023.

But to me, it seems like we can do more, and do some things sooner. I actually think—and I would say this to [WTA CEO] Steve Simon—that this is an area where they’ve dragged their feet.

TENNIS.com: Stories like the one you’ve shared are unfortunately all too common in women’s sports, and especially individual sports. What’s the biggest lesson that tennis needs to take away from this?
SHRIVER: That what's happening now is not good enough, there's just too many instances of team members having complicated relationships with players. Just sitting court-side and observing body language between a player and coach through decades now, you're just aware. There's way, way too much emotion in certain interactions that you know, this is not just about tennis.

It's not like I'm the first to have come forward, but I’m probably a pretty high profile one that's come forward with real details of how it started... and how it hurt my performance, how it hurt my life, how it hurt my ability to develop healthy relationships. So I just want to help young people that need to know, it's okay to reach out for help.

And I also want to hold the coaches and the teams much more accountable. Honestly, they go hand in hand. When the lines are crossed into the personal side, I don't want it to just happen. I want there to be counseling, I want there to be a lot of education on both sides and I want there to be repercussions.

Honestly, I want it to be more like a normal workplace, where there's human resources, there's reporting, all sorts of things. We can't have unprotected workplaces just because we're this traveling tennis tour. We have to have workplaces with safe policies.

I guess my hope is that the sport realizes that there is a better way of conducting this business. There needs to be better safeguarding, and coaches and team members need to be held more accountable.

In response to Pam Shriver’s story, the WTA released the following statement:

“The WTA is dedicated to ensuring a safe environment across our Tour. Safeguarding requires vigilance, and we are continuing to invest in education, training, and resources to improve our efforts. The health and safety of all WTA Tour stakeholders—including the players—is our priority, and our commitment to safeguarding remains resolute.”