by Pete Bodo
Is there a better way to start the new tennis year than Hopman Cup?
As far as I'm concerned, all those guys and girls huffing and puffing in Brisbane, Chennai, and Doha are jumping the gun. Throwing themselves into the deep end because, because ... well the Australian Open is coming up quick in the rear-view mirror and, what the hail, the appearance money isn't mere pocket change ... and there are those ATP rankings points.
Readers of a certain age will understand it when I say those ranking points on offer in ATP 250s are to tennis what S&H Green Stamps were to my mom. So why not just relax everyone, and play Hopman Cup?
For one thing, it takes place in Perth, Australia, conceivably the most laid-back place on the planet, given that it's technically a major capital, with a population of 1.7 million. But a good portion of those souls surf, probably find Jimmy Buffet a little too in-your-face, and couldn't care less about what the go-getters are doing in tightly-wound Melbourne or overly ambitious Sydney.
Their tournament in Perth is an extended New Year's Eve party that counts for nothing in the rankings, throws men and women together on the same court, and dares suggest that tennis needn't be all about pounding your chest as if you has had just conquered Latvia, confessing your shortcomings before a hundred hushed media representatives, or shattering records.
Just look at the headlines that have been generated at the Hopman Cup. Gajdosova in Tears After Hopman Cup Loss. Gajdosova was blown out by Marion Bartoli, love-and-love, after which the relentless and aggressive Ms. Bartoli sheepishly claimed, "I’m sorry I beat her that way but I was just focusing on my own game and not looking at the scoreboard."
But the ghost of Harry Hopman, the late, legendary Australian coach in whose honor the competition is named, was probably chuckling at the plight of Gajdosova, born in Slovakia, who married Australian tennis player Sam Groth in 2009 and then dumped him after two short years—not long after she received her Australian citizenship.
And how about Caroline Wozniacki acing Mardy Fish? It's gone viral, at least in the community of tennis whackos, eliciting no end of snickers and snarky comments. I don't feel bad for Caro on that score; she's had an entire year to correct any misapprehensions about her talents. The person I feel really bad for is Fish. Can you imagine what he's going to be in for when he walks into a locker room where Andy Roddick has been idly picking at his toenails or snapping his towel?
But I don't really feel all that badly for Fish, because he's in Perth and we're not. He's hitting tennis balls not far from a beautiful beach, a maid is making his bed every morning, and you can almost hear the cha-ching with every swipe of his racquet, or at least you could until Petra Kvitova and Tomas Berdych of the Czech Republic pretty much ended the hopes of Fish and Bethanie Mattek-Sands today with a win that left the USA in fourth place (of four) in the Group A standings, with a 1-5 match record.
Yes, fellow Americanos, we are officially in last place, behind tennis powerhouses Denmark and Bulgaria. The former features ATP No. 236 Frederick Nielsen, supported by WTA No. 1 Wozniacki; Bulgaria has WTA No. 46 Tsvetana Pironkova and ATP No. 76 Grigor Dimitrov. You know, Dimitrov, the second coming of Roger Federer in all ways but those which count.
If it's any consolation, you know who else is in the toilet? Australia and China. If it's all about the company you keep, that softens the blow. Sam Stosur and Li Na both won Grand Slam titles this year, so eat your hearts out, Wozniacki and Pironkova.
Oh, well, that's Hopman Cup. If you want to be all serious about it, I suppose Harry Hopman might deserve better, at least in terms of the significance and resonance of the event that now bears his name (through no fault of his own). Personally, I always felt that a mixed, international team competition could really be something unique. And, perhaps more important, valuable.
The fact that men and women can both play tennis at a reasonably high level, even at times against each other, is a great strength of the sport. And there isn't an all-female sporting enterprise that even comes close to matching the spectator appeal (and athletic credibility) of WTA tennis. You may say "figure skating," but we don't count activities in which you wear a costume instead of a uniform.
The fact that ATP and WTA tennis can co-exist and even intertwine is a wonderful thing, and one which might even get your resident feminist to stop whining for a minute. When the world is sufficiently "evolved," we'll probably have a legitimate and credible dual-gender international championships. Just think, if they named it the "Federer Cup," we could still use the familiar "Fed Cup" lingo.
Harry Hopman rightly has a Cup named after him; in time, Roger will too. And remember, he has two little girls and he knows it. But until then, we have plenty of other things to celebrate in Perth. Like Wozniacki bringing the heat against Fish.