So there it is, the Australian Open in rhyming couplets (is that what they are?). I also have one Australian Open anecdote to pass on, to which I think many of you will be able to relate. My longtime pal Liz Nevin, whom I've quoted here before, went to sleep at dawn after yet another late night session of live tennis - and let's face it, you can't call yourself "hardcore" unless you've been setting that alarm for 2:45 a.m. TW time, almost every day for the two weeks of the tournament.
Anyway, she fell asleep and dreamed that she was playing Justine Henin on Rod Laver Arena. The first set was very tight, and it went to a tiebreaker. At a critical point, Justine hit one of those lovely backhands that appeared to Liz to be out, but was called in.
The chair umpire, a pleasant lady, smiled at Liz and politely asked if she wanted to issue a Hawkeye challenge. Whereupon Liz sat bolt upright in her bed and remembers screaming, "I can't, I've used up all my challenges, you. . .*itch!"
!69602 *
And one last note: did you see that Kim Clijsters and her daughter Jada will now be commemorated with Barbie dolls of their own? I know, I know, y'all are going to think I just want to find another opportunity to dump on Champagne Kimmy (conveniently forgetting that I picked her to win the Australian Open, and see her as a model for the WTA player of the future).
But I just find it hard to let this one go by because it seems like such a, well, bizarre item. The one thing I don't think Kimmy has written all over her is Barbie Doll, and that's not really a put-down, unless you're all wrapped up in the Barbie myth and sensibility (not that there's anything wrong with that!). The famous dollmaker found a way around that, though, by making the doll look nothing like Kimmy or her offspring. At least some little girls, powered by their little-girl impressionability, may actually want to grab this, er, loose interpretation of Kim Clijsters off the shelf at Toys R Us.
And how about this bit, from a press release issued by Kim's manager, John Dolan:
"The doll also comes with a miniature version of Kim Clijsters’ daughter, Jada. This tiny doll charms with golden blonde curls, styled in a cute and playful look. Jada wears a re-creation of the actual outfit she wore on the day her mother became the US Open champion. The pants and black and white striped top, created of single knit, were meticulously designed to match the original."
About which Kim had this to say: “My family means everything to me, so I was really excited when I found out that Jada would also receive her very own 'Jada Barbie doll'. This is something that is very special to me and my family and we will cherish it for life."
What next for Jada, a Fila contract and her own month on the WTA swimsuit calendar?
I imagine Kimmy's intentions are good, if not exactly pure as the driven snow. But there's an increasingly ludicrous element of self-and-child adulation at play here. Listen, Kim, you aren't the first woman ever to have a child, there are a lot of other cute kids running around, and this dog and pony show with Jada really is getting a little tiring. Maybe turning your toddler into a celebrity in her own right, for no reason other than that she's your child, has some perils. There's a reason so many celebrity tennis players have worked very hard to keep their children out of the spotlight, and resisted what we might call celebrity child exploitation.
But this is fun day at TW, so let's meet this news with an appropriate degree of good humor, which should be easy enough given the photo (it comes courtesy of the Barbie empire). And you gotta love Dolan's claim that Clijsters is the first female athlete to be "immortalized" by the dollmakers. If so, Kim and Jada were given their place among the gods by people who couldn't and probably still can't pick Kim out of a police line-up.
I can just see Jada, in 10 years time, telling her little playmates: That is so me! Don't say that's not me and my mommy!
Ah, immortality. It has a high price. Just ask Roger Federer, Steffi Graf, or. . . Kim Clijsters.
