What has ESPN2’s coverage of the Australian Open taught us so far? Here are a few observations.
Big Blue
Much has been made of the new Plexicushion court surface in Melbourne. The players say it’s slower than the Rebound Ace, and that the outer courts are playing slower, with a higher bounce, than Rod Laver Arena. But what I haven’t heard much about is how the court changes color—at least on my TV. No, this observation isn’t after a few pints of Foster’s, Australia’s answer to Budweiser. Watching ESPN2 in high def, the court appears to be bright blue in the middle of the day under the unrelenting Aussie sun. At night, and depending on the court, it can appear bluish green, greenish blue, or almost entirely green. Do the players notice? Does it bother them? It’s trippy tennis, but I dig it.
Women’s tennis
I’m not naming names here, but some of the players on the WTA Tour ought to invest in a better tailor. That, or they really need to get into better shape. While not everyone can be as fit as Justine Henin, players should not be taking the court with a spare tire around their waste. And if they insist on doing this, please, for the love of Dolce and Gabbana, ditch the form-fitting outfits that leave nothing to the imagination. As Mary Joe Fernandez said on-air, there’s not much you can completely control in tennis, but fitness is one of them (the serve being the other). This is a world-class sport, and it’s time these players train harder because, I’m sorry, it’s an embarrassment to the game when you turn on the tube and you’re not sure if you’re watching pro tennis or a special episode of the Biggest Loser.
David Nalbandian and Marcos Baghdatis
And let’s not just hold the women’s feet to the fire for not being in tip-top shape. David Nalbandian, dios mio! Did you spend three weeks straight in the pub, scarfing down beer and burritos? Now, in his defense, Nalbandian has never been known as a gym rat, but he appears to be pushing maximum density down under. In one of the broadcast’s intentionally funny lines that was actually funny, Luke Jensen cracked that Nalbandian looks like the frat guy who’s going to take you out for a good time. And any couch potato can tell you, it doesn’t take Dr. House to figure out that those back spasms may be the result of the extra payload he’s carrying around. Bagdatis, on the other hand, started cramping at 4-2 in the third set of his first round match against Thomas Johansson. This wasn’t a particularly strenuous match—Bags won the first two sets easily—and yet, there he was, cramping. Will someone please buy him a membership to the gym? Those $20.08 specials are still valid for this year.
Baghdatis, Part II
I hope Baghdatis gets deep into the draw—if he’s to do that, he’ll have to beat a player who’s as mentally out of shape as Baghdatis is physically, Marat Safin—because the Cypriot is fun to watch. He reminds me of Andre Agassi in the way he moves his opponents around, pulls them wide with a short cross-court forehand, and pulls the trigger on the down-the-line backhand. And you have to love Baghdatis' Greek Cypriot fans in Melbourne. Even if there are only a handful of them, as was the case in Baghdatis' match against Johansson, they change the entire tenor and tone of a match. They’re also respectful, only chanting between points and games and never (at least to my knowledge) booing Baghdatis' opponents. His fans are the closest thing tennis has to the rabble-rousers of European football. Hearing their exhortations, which come through loud and clear on TV, these fans break tennis’ solemn silence and make matches feel more engaging and important—not an easy thing to do, I might add, when Thomas Johansson, who can suck the life out of any match, is on the court.
Australian Open in HD
This is the first time I’ve had a chance to watch the Australian Open in high definition. It’s terrific, though I’m seeing things I wish I couldn’t, and getting an urge to play connect-the-freckles with one particular commentator.
The Booth
Enough of the booth already. ESPN says they’re telecasting over 100 hours of tennis, but if you cut out the promos, lead-ins, recaps, updates, highlights, not to mention the commercials, you’re left with 20 hours. It’s what they call the New Math. Over the past few days, I’ve learned everything I didn’t want to know about Jessie Levine and listened to Serena tell me that she’s in a happy place these days. I’ll tell you what would put me in a happy place: scale back the production. I know, I know, the desk and all the people behind it are supposed to signify a certain amount of gravitas, that this is an important event worthy of the meaningless banter we get on NFL game day. Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather go back to the days when the “production,” if you can call it that, was the “Fiery One” Fred Stolle and Cliff Drysdale in the booth, drolly commentating on match after match.
Andy Murray
After his first-round flameout, he’s sure to hear the snickers and barbs and Monday morning quarterbacking about sacking his coach Brad Gilbert late last year and hiring a “team” of experts to take him to the next level. It’s never too early to rush to judgment, of course, and you have to wonder if Murray would have played a smarter match against the supremely athletic Jo-Wilfried Tsonga of France if Beej was in his corner. From what I saw of the match, which wasn’t much because ESPN2 only showed the highlights last night, Murray played his typically passive, counter-attacking game. It was enough to find the Scot in a two-set-to-love hole. He changed things up in the third by attacking Tsonga’s backhand and coming to net (the highlights didn’t show this, either, so I’m going to take Fowler’s word on it) before returning to his passive play in the fourth and letting Tsonga close out the match. To his credit, Murray sees angles and potential that other players don’t. And while it’s unrealistic to expect him to develop a knock-out weapon—his bread-and-butter will always be crafty combinations of shots—he needs to learn to dictate play once in a while if he hopes to crack the Top 5 and win his first Grand Slam title.