by Pete Bodo
NEW YORK—If the USTA had a better sense of humor—or a more ruthless sense of marketing—it might have taken full advantage of the referee's decision to put No. 4 Victoria Azarenka and No. 1 Caroline Wozniacki on Arthur Ashe Stadium in back-to-back matches to launch today's program.
You know, frame it as a game show, with slick three-minute teasers about each player's career. Instruct Alex Anthony, the Arthur Ashe PA announcer (who moonlights as the voice of baseball's New York Mets) to channel the voice of famed game-show host and cult figure Don Pardo (if you've been to Ashe lately, you know this would be a piece of cake for Anthony), to fire up the spectators.
I can hear him now: And by the time these two, short weeks are over, tennis fans, one of these very attractive and talented young ladies just might be lucky enough to walk out of Arthur Ashe Stadium with a grand prize of one million, eight-hundred thousand dollars—that's right, nearly two million dollars. . .Plus a brand new Mercedes-Benz. . .Plus a lifetime supply of Slim Jim beef jerky. . .Plus a lifetime, paid membership in that most elite of clubs, the Grand Slam winners club!
Alright, so I'm kidding about the Slim Jims.This isn't a Bassmasters tournament.
But still . . . you have to wonder when one of those long-suffering ladies—if the adjective "long" can be applied to anything having to do with Azarenka, who's 22, or 21-year-old Wozniacki—will finally punch through to bag a Grand Slam title. These two may be young, but as Boris Becker once said, you measure a tennis player's life in "dog years," and each of these women has been very close to leaping the Grand Slam hurdle. Wozniacki even more so than Azarenka; she was close enough to the trophy here in 2009 when she lost to Kim Clijsters in the final to floss her teeth or fix her stray hairs in the reflection off it.
Azarenka the Voluble was first on Ashe, and she'd didn't allow the endless rows of empty, bright blue seats to dampen her enthusiasm. She was all over Sweden's poor Johanna Larsson right from get-go, like some great bird of prey with a dazzling golden crest, pecking and tearing at her opponent, punctuating each attack with that piercing, familiar shriek, Ah-heeee! The sound echoed and bounced around the nearly empty stadium; perhaps it even kept some fans from venturing inside.
"You wanna go into Ashe?"
"Dude, that thing in there might kill and eat us."
It was over quickly, 6-1,6-3.
Azarenka was her usual chipper self in the press interview room afterwards. Clearly, that decision early this year to embrace the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" ethos has paid off. She's had a great year, losing to the champion at two of the three previous majors (Li Na at Roland Garros and Petra Kvitova at Wimbledon), and to eventual finalist Li at the start of the Grand Slam year in Australia. Very few women in tennis history have played as well as Azarenka through three majors and come away without even a final berth for it. You could call her snake-bit, although she's determined not to drink of the bitter brew: "I mean, why complain," she said, "I lost to the champion (at those events). I played good. I played a little bit bad sometimes, but what can you do? I lost to the best player in the tournament. It's fine. I have to be better."
And while I took no great pleasure in it, I had to point out that to continue her run of hard-luck Grand Slam draws, she's been elected to meet the No. 28 seed in the fourth round. That's as it should be. Only the No. 28 seed happens to be Serena Williams. "I'm not interested about that before I go out there," she said, rather snippily. " We'll talk about it later .. . maybe."
She forced a smile.
Well, there truly is a long way to go before that conversation can take place. And while it's not much consolation, the young lady who keeps Azarenka firmly anchored near—but not at—the top of the "Best Active Player Not to Have Won a Major" list potentially has a tricky if not nearly as formidable hurdle to clear in the fourth round—Daniela Hantuchova, who beat Wozniacki in the third round of this year's French Open.
We didn't know it then, but Wozniacki was on the brink of the first significant swoon she's experienced since she assumed the No. 1 ranking 46 weeks ago. Pooh-pooh the Slamless One all you like, but the naked truth is that Wozniacki is projected to remain No. 1 through the end of the U.S. Open, which means she's a lock to have been No. 1 for more total weeks than Venus Williams, Maria Sharapova, and Kim Clijsters—combined.
You can look it up.
The atmosphere was slightly improved in Ashe after Azarenka's recital, but the crowd was still just drifting in as Wozniacki jumped to an early lead over Nuria Llagostera Vives—a 31-year old whose professed career ambitions included playing in the U.S. Open women's singles draw at least once before she throws in the towel. She got her wish this year, and after the drubbing she took she may re-phrase the wish to "only once."
